A few weeks back I took a day trip to San Francisco with my son Andy. I would like to thank my current employer Seaport Airlines for the perk of Non-Rev pass travel. More on that in another post.
We flew Virgin America Airlines, very hip and swanky! I highly recommend them if you get a chance…plus they are fairly new to the US therefore their planes are new, and I felt my chances of landing unharmed in San Francisco to be great. Also our arrival was just a week after that Asiana crash landing, and the odds were in our favor.
I highly recommend, if you are scared of air travel, flying to a destination that just recently had a crash, BINGO!
We only had one day and decided to do the tourist thing, oh wait I was a tourist. This brings me to point number one.
1. There are no actual residents in San Francisco. Everyone was a tourist. And I am pretty sure the person who served me my clam chowder lives outside of SF because who can afford an apartment in SF while serving soup?
Also important to note, the corners were packed full of people lining up to get on one of the thousands of Hop-on Hop-off buses that employed witty comedian wanna-bes who still live with their moms to afford Top Ramen.
The only other explanation for the lack of residents might be that the natives are all vampires, which would explain so much. They only come out at night when the hordes return to their Best Western hotel.
2. Ever hear of the Harry Potter apartment? In SF, a person rents out the cupboard under their stairs for under $1000 (or so my uncle who lives there tells me, I question the source. Just kidding Uncle Dave!)
This is a crazy new one to me, but hey, maybe then the kid who served me soup can move out of mom’s basement.
3. The Golden Gate Bridge is an urban legend. According to the funny tour bus guy, we drove over it twice. I didn’t see it. My son was very disappointed.
For all I know we drove into Oakland. According to funny guy, it is usually fogged in. That is all I have to say about that.
4. There are hills, lots of them. Andy and I decided to get off the bus and walk China Town. OK, that is a lie; I wanted to walk China Town. Andy had to follow me or be lost forever, his choice. I thought it would be a great idea to get some culture, learn Chinese, and see ducks hanging in the windows.
We didn’t get any of that. We were too busy trying to breathe, in gasping painful breathes.
5. There is a glorious magical place in San Francisco where I want to be buried! Imagine Willie Wonka for the true addict aficionado….That’s right, Ghirardelli Square, where dreams really do come true. I want to be encased in 86% dark chocolate a la Hans Solo when I die. How awesome would that be?!?
When we were done seeing all the magical sights SF had to offer, my wonderful Uncle Dave and Aunt Jeanne picked us up and took us to their home.
Doesn’t everyone have an Uncle Dave or Aunt Jeanne? I swear those were the most popular names for boys and girls from 1950-1970.
This is what I found next to my bed. My aunt is the bestest.
So, what is the point of this blog…heck if I know. Just glad I was able to see San Francisco before it slid into the ocean.ra